a brand new year

the year 2009 has already started for a week plus, im still not getting myself back on track after all the long holiday!!I still wan go shopping anytime when i want, but i cant!!! College has re-open, i have to attend school...this is so sad, and i havent really got myself things for chinese new year! Unlike Last year(2008) i started buying CNY things a month before. I reallydislike what im doing right now, i bought myself 3pairs of shoes within 2weeks..! this is so wrong!!! i shud get myself cny clothes not so many shoes!!! probably because, i hardly buy shoe for myself until one is spoiled!!!
i had a bad begining for the year 2009 , on the very first day , i met with an accident at LANGKAWI. I was there with Tien How(GB) and his friends(Now my friends). We went there for holiday and to welcome our 2009 there, but when we were on our way back to Jetty to be back to where we came from, we met with an accident here. Seriously, i was so scared, i was shiverring and my leg was soo weak ,when i came down from the car. But, i cant say anything, probably because to "paiseh" to say to anyone there! How i wished i have someone i love was there with me to tell me " It is OK" and hug me, to support me. We had to pay back the man because of the damaged we caused, well i was so broke at the moment, i have to call EP, Amelia and Yl to borrow me some money. Yea, they are willing to help me and they are so concerned at me, Yl and Ep was so shocked!!! But well, i have a very nice and caring bro Tien How, he offered to pay that loss for me, thou i insist of paying myself. So nice of Him but anyhow i owe him alot because of that.! will repay it back to him..what a wonderful god bro I have! Some people said , i was so unlucky to met with an accident on the first day of New Year. However, i have a different perception , the whole accident probably has brought all our BAD LUCK away...and will give us a good luck in this brand new year!!!
Even So, when i went back to college, alot of rules has implemented! Kind of very sad over it! Anyway, I seriously cant get along with some people,that particular person can be so nice to me, but always take advantage on me! this is very sad," I will help u with it , dont worry," then i am left alone to prepare thew whole programme!!!
HATE IT

Im just looking forward for a better year ahead!!!
Im starting falling on someone.(i think) i dont think i have a chance to be with him.
Why do i always have to face this problem? I dont plan for all my feelings to happen, it just happen!!! I hope i will stand a chance.

life

what is life actually?
can someone actually explain to me what is life about?
when there is ups and downs it makes our life colourful
if there is no ups and downs , our life would be very very dull!
thats soo sad ! very sad! imagine if our life is coloured with only black! i seriously cant imagine it!
At times, i would like to know what is actually in peoples mind!
They can be good with you at times and when they are rejected by us
it is a total 180 degrees turn!! sweat sweat !!!
i seriously speechless!!! haizz..sadness!i hate my life!!!!